Praise and Worship

I said last time that my next post would be about why I hate Christians...well, here's part of it. We'll talk more about that later, but for now, sink your minds into this.

This is from worshipideas.com. It infuriates me to no end. Here we go:
"We're in a world where most music schools are teaching exactly what a contemporary worship leader does NOT need to know - Bach, Beethoven and Brahms. I mean, sure, study the classics but don't fixate on them. I graduated with a church music degree and that's ALL I was taught - very little that was useful for the practical church world. If I hadn't learned about guitars, drums and non-operatic singing on my own I'd probably be working now as a Wal-Mart greeter"

-Don Chapman

Wal-Mart? Really? Look man, I have a music degree too, and guess what, I work at a church...and we sing Beethoven and all that crap we do NOT need to know about. And guess what? People in my church are smarter and more well-rounded human beings than people in your church who just sing "Shine Jesus Shine" and other nonsensical ramblings about the Savior.

I see what you're getting at here Mr. Chapman, that church seems out of touch with culture. I see that point, it is quite valid. Do you think that we should just give up our history so that we can fit in? Should our country do that? " Hey, Communism is popular these days, I say screw American history and Liberty and all that crap...let's go red!"

I want you to realize Mr. Chapman, that forgetting about history and ceasing to be educated musicians is a slippery slope. One that will lead to the demise not only of the Church, but of our country as well.

Praise and Worship has a lot of merit to me, it appeals to our emotions...it makes us "feel" God, right? Well, it makes us feel anyway, I won't get into the argument of whether or not God is a feeling...but the point is it pulls at our heartstrings and gives us the passion we need in our faith. There are other ways to learn that passion, but this is as good a way as any, so don't think I'm saying that we should ignore it and just trudge on with Amazing Grace and When the Roll is Called Up Yonder every week...now, having said that...

How many "Worship Leaders" do you know that can read music? Like...one? Maybe. As a music degree holder, that infuriates me. Someone is making their living on something they know nothing about. That's like someone becoming an accountant who can't do math. Mr. Chapman, I can't believe that it doesn't infuriate you, too. Where did that degree come from? A Bible college? Somewhere that didn't instill the love of music into you, obviously.

Also, let's not kid ourselves, you don't need a degree or any sort of education to play G, C, D, and Em on the guitar and to sing all five notes in praise songs. If you can't, as you said, learn that on your own...then you're retarded and shouldn't be allowed outside without your helmet.

Tell you what, I'll teach a class on P&W right now...start fast, slow down, get soft, build up, go crazy for a little while, then slow down and end softly, closing with a prayer.

Done.

Congrats to everyone who is reading, if you can play guitar or keyboards in the key of G, you are now qualified to be a praise and worship leader.

Well, enough ranting about that. I don't want you to think that I'm one of the "Old Lights" who doesn't see the need for change in the Church. I see the need very clearly. It's not a need to sell our souls to Pop Culture, though. It's a need to meet people where they are and strive to enrich their lives and bring beauty and love to them. The Church needs to stop worrying so much about "feeling the Presence of God" and start worrying about feeding and clothing and enriching the lives of His people...one way to do that might be with...dare I say...beautiful music played by educated musicians!

Maybe we DO need to know about Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms!

It's a life-changing thought, I know...but let your mind wrap itself around that, Mr. Chapman.

And if you can't, blame God.

Boo-ya!

Church and State

It's a hot topic...the separation of church and state...I have to be honest, I haven't read the Constitution. I've heard that the phrase "separation of church and state" is never mentioned, but who knows? I've heard that George Washington was a Deist and not a Christian. The fact is...his faith shouldn't matter. He was a President, not a pastor.

Frankly I'm starting to see the better points of Deism...it's hard to believe that God's will is to have so many stupid people on his planet. But hey, all are created in His image. I do believe that and I don't actually believe that God just set us spinning as it were.

I digress.

Here's what I'm getting at: We live in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. With liberty and justice for all. One of our basic rights is freedom of religion...that means that not everyone has to believe in my God. I want them to...but it's not the place of our government to further that agenda, the church should be the institution and Christians the workers to pursue that cause. (Incidentally, my next blog will probably be about people shoving Jesus down the secular world's throat...and the gag reflex that ensues)

I've read blog after blog about how we have to bring God back to American government. Let's face it people, the glory days we want to bring back just didn't exist. Our country was founded by folks with slaves, our former Presidents screwed around on their wives and committed all kinds of crimes while in office, just like the last few.

I totally believe that we need to cover the government in prayer...we just don't need to run around telling everyone who believes differently than us to do the same. If you're a prayer warrior go in the closet and pray...don't do it out in front of people to show off...that's from the Bible folks.

I'm not dogging American historical figures, don't misunderstand. I love this country and I think we've had amazing leadership in the past. I think we have freedoms and rights that the rest of the world can't parallel. I'm just saying that at no point in our history was there this amazing moral time where God was the head of the government like some Christians would have us believe.

The big issue isn't whether abortion is legal or not...it's legal, get used to it, just because someone is pro-life doesn't mean they can just outlaw abortion as soon as they're elected. Start donating to adoption education programs so that young girls will have another option and stop voting for people just because they are pro-life.

I don't presume to push a political agenda, but I do want to point out to my faith-brothers that you can't vote for your faith to be brought to the forefront of political ideals. You have to vote for someone who will be good for our country. Right now that means someone who has a plan to get our *butts* out of this enormous debt we've gotten into...who is that?

You decide.

"Contemporary" Music

With my first blog on blogger.com, I hope to gain some attention from people outside of my circle of friends. This blog will be a cornucopia of different ramblings, ravings, and rantings on all things involving the church, religion, theology, music, Christians, and all those other folks in the world whom Jesus likes less than us.

The first thing I would like to rant about would be music.

Today I was at work (I work at a church that is part of a mainline denomination) and I was going through music to order for my choir this fall. I sifted through some mailers from various publishing companies which included mediocre choral anthems, some bad ones, and very few good ones. Finally, I came upon a fairly large box from ____ Music.

I should preface this story a little at this point, albeit a little late. I just began this job in June, so some things still fall under the "old regime". This ____ package falls under that category. Apparently we were subscribed to this company's publications. This should do for now as my back story.

I open up this cumbersome box and several pieces of music are inside along with CD recordings. I pop the CD into my computer and am immediately accosted by the disgusting sounds that are labeled music on this CD.

Now, I love the rock music that all the kids are listening to as much as anyone else, but I realize that there is some disconnect between "classical" and "popular" music. Here is an example of what I consider to be blasphemous:

One recording I forced myself to hear was an arrangement of the melody that is popularly known as "Joyful Joyful", taken from Beethoven's 9th Symphony. A beautiful melody from an epic composition. ____ Music allowed someone to tack on a filthy, disgustingly simple, unpalatable additional melody...as well as a cheesy and horrendous guitar introit.

I'm pretty sure Jesus won't let these fools into heaven...shame on you ____ Music! And on you, nameless composer of this blasphemous ear-raping "contemporary choral anthem".

Shame...